How Far
by Michelle285
Summary: Song fic, set after Luke finds out about April and Lorelai gets fed up.


_ Disclaimer: I don't own Luke, Lorelai, April, Rory or anyone else that may be recognizable. I don't own this song either, that is Martina McBride's. _

_ A/N: This is a perfect song for Luke and Lorelai when April came along and when Lorelai was stupid and ran away from Luke and right to Christopher. Tsk, tsk. I had to post something…I was going through withdrawls or something…and my Rory/Jess sequel to _We Just Have That Effect On People _isn't finished…so I hope you enjoy this in the meantime! :) _

_There's a boat, I could sail away  
There's the sky, I could catch a plane  
There's a train, there's the tracks  
I could leave and I could choose to not come back  
Oh never come back  
_

There were so many ways she could leave. There were boats, but she would have to go to the coast to find one of those. Then again, she had never liked sailing, and that dislike increased when the movie _Titanic_ was released.

There were also planes. They soared high up in the sky and took people to places all around the world much faster than a boat could. She liked flying, but the only time she had ever flown was to go to Europe and she didn't like the idea of flying to get away from Luke. After all, she would only fly to go really far away…and she hated that idea!

Then there were also trains. She doubted there was a place to catch a train in Stars Hallow. Then again, she doubted any of her three options could be found in Stars Hallow. It was questionable if she really could make herself leave though. If she was able to leave though, she wouldn't come back. Not with the way things were right now.

_There you are, giving up the fight  
Here I am begging you to try  
Talk to me, let me in  
But you just put your wall back up again  
Oh when's it gonna end_

It wouldn't be so bad if Luke would just talk to her. It wouldn't be so bad if Luke would just let her into his life. She just wanted to get to know April. She definitely understood that Luke needed time with his daughter though. She also knew Luke wanted to get to know his daughter on his own time in his own way, but this was ridiculous

It didn't bother Lorelai at first but now she was just frustrated. It seemed like Luke didn't even care about her anymore. It was like he wasn't even trying. She tried to talk to him about April and tried to get to know her better, but Luke wouldn't talk about it. She wondered when or if Luke would ever get over this, and notice she wanted to help and be in on this too. __

How far do I have to go to make you understand  
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't  
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are  
So I'm gonna walk away  
And it's up to you to say how far

She wondered if she actually would have to leave to make Luke understand this was hurting her; that he was hurting her. She walked away from him time after time when he was around April and he always told her where to go. Stay home, stay away from the diner, etc. He was telling her how far to go and if she left Stars Hallow she wondered if he would even care. __

There's a chance I could change my mind  
But I won't, not till you decide  
What you want, what you need  
Do you even care if I stay or leave  
Oh, what's it gonna be

Lorelai wasn't necessarily going to leave yet. Her mind wasn't made up, but it was up to Luke to decide really. She wondered what he wanted or even needed. Did he want her or would he rather have April and not Lorelai at all? Would he care at all if she up and left? Sometimes she wondered. Rory said he would care, but she didn't think he would. __

How far do I have to go to make you understand

_I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't_

_Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are_

_So I'm gonna walk away _

_And it's up to you to say how far_

Lorelai wanted to make this work. She had many failed relationships before him and she didn't want this one to fail. She really cared about this one and she wanted it last. She loved Luke, she really did. She was trying so hard sometimes it even hurt, but she couldn't do it by herself. Luke had to help her make this work, and right now he definitely wasn't. __

Out of this chair, or just across the room  
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon

Lorelai couldn't take it anymore. It was what made her talk to that psychiatrist in the middle of her parent's driveway. It was what made her go into the diner. It was what made her issue that ultimatum. It was what made her walk away from him. He didn't stop her when she got out of the chair, he didn't stop her when she ran out of the room. She had a feeling he wouldn't stop her if she got halfway down the block, or if she could find a way to get halfway to the moon. __

How far do I have to go to make you understand  
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't  
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are  
So I'm gonna walk away  
And it's up to you to say how far  
So I'm gonna walk away  
And it's up to you to say  
YeahI'm gonna walk away  
And it's up to you to say how far

Well, he followed her out of the diner. At least that was a start. She told him everything that she had been feeling for so long. She told him that she was tired of being a silent bystander. She told him how sick she was of saying sorry because she was always sorry. She told him that she really wanted to make this work; she even told him she loved him. She told him that if he refused her ultimatum then she was going to walk away. Well, he refused the ultimatum, and that was the end. With the tears running down her face she faced him and gave him one last Lorelai fast-talking rant.

"Luke, I've tried, I've tried so hard. I want to make this work so much it hurts, but you won't let me," Lorelai cried. "You used to know me so well, all you had to do was look at me and you knew something was wrong. Look at me now, Luke. Can you tell how hurt I am, how much you have hurt me? How far do I have to go before you will stop me and tell me you love me? Do you even love me? Did you ever love me? Do I have to leave the town, the state, the country? Do you even care if I leave? How far do I have to go before you will do something? How far, Luke, how far?"

_ I know it ends sad, and I know I don't usually do that, but I didn't really want to write the end where she runs to Christopher, because I HATE that, she really was being an idiot then! I also felt kind of bad writing it out of canon, so I couldn't write it with Luke running after her…although I had an idea for that…if you want to know what it was, review and I will tell you in my response. I also had to end it with the name of the song (although my alternate worked there too), so that's why I ended it like this. Anyway, I hope you like it and I really hope you will review. By the way, for any of you who read my Luke/Lorelai story, _We Just Have That Effect on People_ there is a Rory/Jess sequel WIP chilling in my hard drive. I want to have it all finished before I post anything on it…and that might not be until next summer…but it coming, I promise! Now…after this long and rambling author's note…please review! Oh, and I wrote it really late last night…so that could be why it seems a little sporadic…if it seems such…review and let me know! _


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